One of those nights

I’m having a pity party. Adoption is too expensive (don’t crucify us, we’re not interested in foster to adopt) and we barely have enough for IUI. We will have to save for IVF. My sis in law hasn’t answered a text in 2 weeks which concerns me. I’m just tired of infertility and tonight I’m asking “why me?” I swear to God, I’m fine most days but Mother’s Day is fucking with me. I want to scream and have a temper tantrum but apparently that’s unacceptable as an adult. As I write this, the sobbing gets worse. I’m tired of this tonight. My hubby isn’t home. I’m not strong tonight. Thankfully I have a second bottle of wine.