Getting the ball rolling

Next week I have my first pre-IVF test, a saline sonogram. I am excited and of course nervous. This whole TTC break that we’ve been on for 4 months has been kind of nice-no dates with Wandy, no pee sticks, no blood tests-but it’s time to get back on the horse again.

If all goes as planned I’ll have the saline sonogram next week, a trial embryo transfer the next week, consultations in November and then IVF with ICSI in December. By waiting until December, we are assured that P will be back for the birth (still thinking positively). I’m nervous as hell about going through this without him being here as an emotional support but damn it, I’m ready to be pregnant!

Wonderfully, P is very positive in all of this and continues to encourage and support me all that he can from over there. Things are stressful for me right now-adjusting to deployment, trying to adopt SIL’s kids, working full time, etc-but he’s definitely doing whatever he can to help.

Speaking of adopting SIL’s kids, things are at a stand still at the moment. The caseworker should be coming back from medical leave this week so I hope to hear back from her as far as what the plan is. SIL has been calling and texting a lot…she’s still not stable and is quite paranoid. Court is next week so I am hoping for some anwers at least by then.

Apparently I am behind on blogging-I need to write at least 2 for Living The Army Life before the end of the day and I am going to write a little more upbeat one for my deployment blog when I get home later tonight. Maybe one day I can actually make a living from blogging and giving advice through the Interwebz.

A Wonderful Sunburned Weekend

P and I have enjoyed a wonderful, beautiful weekend. Friday night we did our normal thing-watched movies and drank at home. I normally go to Zumba on Saturday mornings but P asked me to please spend the whole day with him, so we went fishing We got up, got breakfast, bought supplies at Dick’s and then headed to the Skaguay Reservoir for a day of fishing.

On the way...

LOVE fishing in the mountains

Pretty flower

The master at work

Beautiful clear water

We didn’t catch any fish but spending quality time alone, with no cell phone reception was great. We both got sunburned and then went to a local Mexican joint for food. I think that we are going to do some river fishing next weekend. Hopefully we’ll catch something so that we can have fresh fish for dinner

Today we spent much of our day helping our friend, Sarah, move to her new house. Most people might like consider that fun but it seriously was fun. So happy for her that she bought a home and I can’t wait to spend time over there with her painting and having girl time when P deploys. After helping her we grabbed lunch at Red Robin’s and went to Whole Foods. Yes, heart Whole Foods so much. Sundays have traditionally been our days to run errands and spend time together. They will be very hard for me when P leaves.

In other news, my therapist is awesome and has volunteered to take me to the egg retrieval and embryo transfer when the time comes. When I mentioned going to BWW while P is gone, she also said that she would go there and to SB with me if needed. I could not be happier about her being my therapist and firmly believe that I would not be able to make it through all of this without her. If you are going through fertility challenges or deployment, I highly recommend therapy.

Now I’m off to watch the series finale of The Tudors with the best husband in the world.

It’s All Really Happening

We had an IVF consultation today with Dr. G from CCRM. Seriously love this RE. He was full of smiles, information and laughed at my husband’s twisted sense of humor. He and the nurse also wrote out notes for us so that I didn’t have to take my own notes So here is what it going to happen in the monitoring cycle:
-Call the office on CD1 to schedule testing.
-CD2 or 3, have tests for the following levels: estradiol, FSH, LH and AMH
-Between CD5 and 13 I’ll have the following tests: baseline u/s (resting follicle count and looking for any abnormalities), hysteroscopy, dopplers (to check the blood flow to my uterus; no caffeine for 72 hrs prior); more blood work; meet with RE and IVF nurse to discuss the protocol for me (already told me that I can use my left over Follistim).
-Also, I’ll need to have a pap smear, annual exam (with breast exam), CBC, TSH, rubella, varicella and blood typing done locally. Yeah, I need to find an OB/GYN like tomorrow.
-P will having a repeat SA, including a check for antisperm antibodies and a culture. He will also be freezing his swimmers on 2 other occasions.
-I also have to be tested for cystic fibrosis and spinal muscular dystrophy.

After the monitoring cycle it’s GAME ON! I’ll stim for 9-14 days and undergo monitoring during that time (like I’ll be driving to Denver every 1-3 days). Next will be the egg retrieval and ICSI with P’s frozen swimmers (he’ll be in the sandbox). We will be doing a Day 5 transfer and we will be transferring 2 and then freezing the rest (yes, I am being optimistic that we will have several good embies). They use a “flash freeze” (my words, not his-can’t remember exactly what he said) which improves the FET pregnancy rate (NOT live birth rate) to 70%, which is the same pregnancy chance we’ll have with the fresh IVF cycle. By transferring 2 on Day 5, we’ll have a 70% chance of pregnancy and a 30-40% chance of twins (YES!)

Now, for the things that I can’t do once I start stimming No caffeine, alcohol, smoking (I’m only occasional now), high impact aerobics (no running-only walking and have to modify Zumba. I also have to cut out the protein powder (since it’s not regulated) and of course keep taking the prenatals. P also has to quit the supplements, nicotine and alcohol before he does his part.

One of the reasons that I really like Dr. G is that he was optimistic but realistic and spelled out all the risks involved to me and baby(ies). He didn’t promise a miracle but said that based on all of our records we have a good chance of getting pregnant with IVF. I feel much more optimistic and relaxed now. I am actually excited about doing IVF, even if I’ll be doing it while P is away. Now just have to find some friends to accompany me to and from the egg transfer and actual IVF procedure.

Tidbits-A Wordfull Wednesday and a Meatless Monday

I haven’t been around as much because P will be leaving in ___ amount of time. I’m making an effort to stay off the laptop and spend time with him. He’s currently engrossed in some new video game so I’m breaking my own rules :-p

Work is going better. I’m staying busy doing briefs, counseling clients and helping a coworker with some extra stuff. I had my first monthly meeting with my boss and things are good so far. The vast majority of my coworkers are very nice and one-the one who looks like Rita Wilson-is someone I could definitely hang out with outside of work. She works in a satellite office so I only see her once a week during staff meetings. I am hoping to be able to work at the satellite office some in the future.

Tomorrow I have a workout date with a new girl friend It’s weird making friends again but I know that I’ll make plenty here. Anyway, tomorrow I am doing a dance class with my friend S, a waitress that we met at BWW. I haven’t seen here in a couple of weeks because we’ve been going to BWW at lunch rather than dinner so I’m excited to see her and try the class. The class is $10 which it first made me cringe, then I realized that some weeks I spend more than that on Starbucks. Exercise and making new friends is way more important than coffee

Next week I have my first therapy appointment and I’m looking forward to it. It’ll be nice to have someone objective to talk to about infertility and the stress it brings. Plus she’s been through it, so she can relate to what I’m going through. I will be sure to blog about it.

My workouts are going better and my foot seems to finally be healed. Hopefully the tax refund comes in soon-damnit, I wanna start with my personal trainer!

Out IVF consultation is next month. Since I fully realize that IVF won’t happen until July or August, I am determined to get down to my goal weight before we do it. As of last week I was down 6 pounds I’m not weighing this week because of AF but I will weigh again next Thursday.

I finally got my tragus piercing in my left ear and now I want one in my right! P and I are also getting tattoos before he leaves and I promise to pot pictures of them. It might be a few weeks, though because the artists that we want are booked up.

Eating vegetarian is going well. I’m only eating one non-vegetarian meal per week and I’m loving it. It’s forcing me to think outside the box when eating dinner. Well, some of the times I think outside the box. This week’s Meatless Monday was organic mac & cheese, corn on the cob and organic frozen fish sticks. Hey, it was still meatless :p I really need to try that black bean burger recipe this weekend.

Ok, more later-have to watch Lost on the MacBook

Wordless Wednesday

That’s right, I’m going to start therapy to help deal with my fertility challenges. I sent an email to one tonight. I feel a great sense of relief

Will I Ever Breathe Again?

*A quick run down of my past couple of weeks: Moved over 1000 in a Tahoe with 4 dogs, 2 cats and P. Wound up in the ER with a bad UTI. FIL came for a 7 day visit less than a week after we moved. Got so sick, thought that I had H1N1. Called in sick to my job on my first day. Bought a 42″ LCD TV. Bought a (used) Chevy Silverado for P. Ate at BWW way too many times. Went to Whole Foods way too many times and loved it.

My allergies are in high gear right now. I am sneezing, coughing and my sinuses are constantly clogged. Every time I blow my nose there is blood I am doing a saline sinus rinse daily but I am seriously ready for my body to adjust to my new environment. I was so sick last weekend that I spent all day Friday in bed with a fever. Saturday I medicated myself and stupidly went with P and FIL to Pike’s Peak. We drove up to mile 15 (it’s 19 miles but the last 4 were closed due to snow or something) and I thought I was gonna die. My chest hurt and I couldn’t breathe well in that altitude. Taking a deep breath hurt. When we got home I crashed. Woke up Sunday morning with a fever of 101 and was convinced that I had H1N1. I was supposed to start work on Monday but instead spent time at the doctor’s office. Diagnosis, respiratory infection brought on by altitude sickness. Tweeters, remember that nausea I had during the 2ww? Yeah, it was altitude sickness. Apparently it’s quite common here when people move from a different climate. The doctor gave me some meds and I am thankfully doing much better now.

Us at mile 15 at Pike's Peak

On the way down

I want to say a special thanks for all of the kind comments after my BFN. This one was the hardest in a long time. I am doing better and am back on the TTC rollercoaster. This month we will be trying on our own but we have both started taking FertilAid. I was charting my BBT but my dogs chewed up my thermometer and I’ve had trouble finding another one. Hopefully I’ll be able to find one today so that I can start temping again tomorrow.

There is a huge positive that happened to me this week. I learned that my job has 3 insurance plans that cover infertility treatment, including IVF! I emailed the HR benefits person and should be hearing back from her tomorrow regarding cost, how to sign up and if there is a pre-existing condition clause. If we can get this, it would cover $15,000 in infertility testing and treatment. I don’t need any major testing done (it’s all been done) so we’re looking at being able to use all of it for IVF. I am being cautiously happy about this. I just feel like it’s a dream and I’m gonna wake up to find out it’s not true. This would be an answer to our prayers. I realize that if we do this, there’s no guarantee that IVF would work the first time but at least we would (hopefully) have snowbabies to use for an FET cycle.

Tomorrow I will be starting the Couch to 5k program. I will probably add on to the workout with daily yoga and ab work every other day. I have 15 lbs that need to go. I am sick of looking in the mirror and not liking what I see. I used to run regularly and I loved it! I am currently doing some research, trying to find races in the area so that I have a firm goal to reach. I would eventually like to do a half marathon and a sprint triathlon I know that I have it in me, I just have to start training again like I used to when I lived in AL.

I am in love with Whole Foods. Seriously, in love. I love everything about that store and plan to buy produce, seafood and meat only at Whole Foods. I cannot explain how wonderful it is to finally have healthy, organic choices after living in Louisiana for 2 years. It’s amazing. We’ve gone there 3 times already and will be making another trip there today

I love Colorado, in spite of the allergies and altitude sickness. I feel at home here. I never felt that way in Louisiana but I felt that way in Savannah. It’s great to feel that way again. Once my allergies are under control I promise to go out and take wonderful pictures to share with y’all

I feel like Alice

You know when Alice eats the cake to make her grow in Alice and Wonderland, that’s how I feel. I swear that my tatas and belly grow more everyday. This Prometrium is really doing a job on me. My brain is foggy and I can’t seem to keep a stream of thoughts going long enough to………what was I saying? Anyway, at first I was sleeping basically all the time when I wasn’t working; then for the past few days I couldn’t sleep more than a few hours at a time. Now I am exhausted after only being up since 10am and I am hungry-truly hungry, not craving-every couple of hours. I’m pretty sure that my ass has grown too. I am fighting the urge to start running a million miles a day and instead reminding myself that hopefully this is all for a very good cause.

I cannot believe that I am already halfway through the 2ww. This first week has literally flown by. I am sure that is mostly due to work being somewhat busy and my being way more concerned about finding a home and a job in Colorado. The thought of having and raising (at least for a year or so) a baby in Colorado also pops into my head and makes me smile. So far I have been doing very well at not continually obsessing or really even noticing if I have “symptoms.” The only thing I’ve noticed, other than the weight gain (seriously folks, I can’t fit into over half my clothes and can definitely not fit into any of my jeans) is slight cramping yesterday and today. We have 5 more days, then I can POAS. And this time I promise that i will not test early this month. For real. For serious. I won’t. I swear.

For now I will continue to hope that I will not grow too much more. If I do I will have to go to work in a robe and I’m not sure that they would go for that.