*edited 2010 JULY 23
I made this private for a bit because P had a freak out and said that we couldn’t do it. Said that we couldn’t afford it and that he worried about SIL finding us and trying to steal the kids back. He then said that he needed a few days to think about it. He thought, we talked and we talked to MIL who promised (we’ll see if it happens) to help us with money if needed. He came to his senses and we are now actively trying to get custody of both children I’ll be calling CPS over the weekend to leave a message to expedite things. I’m trying to be realistic-I know that things might fall through and we might not get the kids but the old CPS worker in me is optimistic
Yesterday I told SIL that we will adopt her 2 children and tomorrow I’ll be calling CPS to get started on what is hopefully a smooth process. I am excited and scared and nervous. We are ready to be parents, no doubt about that. I’m scared that something will happen to mess it all up. Before S (SIL’s 2 yr old) was 1 year old, SIL wanted us to take her. We started making plans, friends secretly planned a shower then it all fell through. I know this time is different because CPS is involved but I am still scared. I’ve been thinking about how to arrange their room (they’ll share the room right next to us) but I won’t start buying anything until I know that this is 100% happening. According to what the caseworker said last week, it might take 6 months for all of this to go through and be finalized. That’s a long time but it also gives me time to get prepared. I say “me” and not “we” because P will be over in the big sandbox during most of this process.
When we first started TTC, I prayed every month to get pregnant. A year or so ago I changed that prayer to us becoming parents. This seems to be the answer to that prayer. We will still be going through IVF and will hopefully I will get to do it before S and D (by the way, we will be changing their first names and their middle names will be SIL’s last name) get here. So yes, hopefully in about 6 months or so we will be the parents of 2 toddlers, 6 furbabies (yes, we ARE keeping all of them-I hate when people suggest that having skin kids means we have to give up or furkids) and a bun or 2 in the oven. Sound crazy? Yeah, it might but I have amazing friends here and I am confident that we can do this.
This is going to be an amazing adventure and I know that we’ll have some work to do with S. I am so excited to be a mommy and even more excited for P to be a daddy. Any prayers and good thoughts that you can send our way would be awesome
I know I’ve not been around on here much but I’m now asking for help. P and I have a major decision to make by Monday. Long story short, we’ve been asked by CPS if we want to adopt SIL’s children. I told her that we would let her know on Monday. I know to some of y’all this seems like a no brainer but there are definite things we have to sort out-day care costs, some therapy for the 2 year old (she’s exhibiting some anger issues already), SIL and her instability (she’s currently harrassing the relatives that have the children, which is why they are giving them up), deployment (how will I do with 2 kids by myself) and our upcoming IVF (new post on that later but looks like it’s happening in September and NOT with CCRM).
My heart is screaming yes but I know that P needs to be on board 100% with this. Part of me wonders if it’s selfish to want to adopt the children when they would be placed in a pre-adoptive home….then I remember some of the pre-adoptive (and adoptive) homes that I worked with when I was in CPS….not saying all are bad-there are WONDERFUL foster to foster/adopt parents out there-but I saw several not good ones. Another part of me wonders if this is our chance to be parents. What if God/the universe is trying to tell us something? What if we don’t adopt now, then IVF/FET doesn’t work and we have to take a major loan for private adoption?
I’m going to therapy tonight….not sure if I’m going to tell her about this because there are so many other things that I need to discuss.
Please blogger friends, pray that we make the right decision. Offer input if you like but only if it’s constructive and out of caring-I simply cannot take negativity right now.
My Twitter friends are amazing and have been listening to me talk about this all day. I want to say a special thank you to 2 wonderful friends Holly and Lisa. Love both of you <3
I feel like my heart is going to beat right out of my chest. What if she changes her mind? I have been looking at baby stuff and even started a baby registry on Walmart’s website. What if it’s all for nothing? How do adoptive parents do this, waiting for the birth mother to give birth and then sign papers? Seriously, I only slept 6 hours last night and I cannot keep food in my stomach.
I have been researching all morning (thank you, Becca for letting me borrow the laptop) and I have figured out that LA doesn’t do the guardianship thing but that we can file for relative adoption here. Literally all R has to do is sign a consent for us to adopt and then we do the rest. There is no home evaluation (b/c we are family) but there is a waiting period for finalization and background checks. Of course, R has to agree to all of this which I really pray will happen. In order to give S everything she needs and deserves we really need to adopt her. We want an open adoption with R and we of course would not cut off contact with her.
I need to relax and not stress but I can’t help it. My house is a mess and it must be cleaned today. The dogs must be played with and I need to shower. Seriously wish my husband was home with me to help with all of this….