Freaking out….

Our first appt with our RE is on the 21st of this month and I am starting to freak out. Like panic attack, crying, not being able to breath freaking out. This is it, we’re in this for real. We’ve been TTC for over 2 yrs, no luck with meds and sex so now this. Seriously freaking out. Just want to get preggo and not go completely insane or financially broke in the process.

I had another meltdown yesterday and feel one coming on thoday at work. It’s not just the IF it’s that I hate this town, I’ll be driving over an hour to my RE appts, money sucks and our dear friends left for San Francisco last week (so incredibly happy fpr them but miss them *cries*). I know that we will PCS hopefully by February and that’s great but if I don’t get preggo by then , then we have ot start all over in another town with another dr. I swear, I don’t think that I can handle that plus if we go where we want to go hubby will be deploying before the end of 2010….so if we don’t get preggo by the time he leaves, then there’s another year of not being pregnant.

I am trying to be realistic about IUI and the fact that we will probably not get preggo the first time but then again, I want to be optimistic about it. That’s such a fine line to balance, though b/c I’ve tried doing it before when I was on Clomid and then again when I was on Femara. I have to get myself together, though because this rollercoaster of emotions is not godd for me or for the relationship with hubby.

Ok, enough blogging about this-I’m gonna break down. Off to call medical records and see about getting records sent to the RE.



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3 responses to “Freaking out….

  1. Hey came from the forum…. I understand your frustration. There are days ( like today) where I am so desperately wanting to be a mom and other days I’m fine. It’s really a roller coaster. My RE appointment went great. I think it’s best to be positive about it and then just take one thing at a time. Don’t worry about the problems, that’s just going to stress you out and panic you but think of the solutions.

    Best of Luck!


  2. Jen

    You sound so stressed! The process is so overwhelming at times + having a PCSing time frame to meet pretty much blows! I am up against the same thing right now. We’re leaving in October and if this IVF doesn’t work then, I have to go to another doctor? We’re going to Missouri for just six months, so I’m thinking I might just drive myself back here and continue with him.

    Dr. S is really fantastic and will definitely not get mad at you for not charting your temps. The so intensely monitor your hormone levels through blood work and ultrasounds…you will be fine. The other part that is great about his office is that once you are in the system, you are in. There is not waiting for appointments or anything. It’s not like BJACH where you have to wait for weeks just to get an US.

    I am keeping you in my thoughts even though I only know you through your blog. I don’t know anyone who has gone through this whole process. So it’s nice to know that there is someone else out there who understands.

    I started my first shots today for the IVF! Will be going down next week, and then almost every day the following week! AAH!

    Take care.

  3. Jen

    BTY….where the heck is the beach he is talking about?

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