And I’m done

I told off mentally unstable SIL today. Last night I sent her a long text telling her that I was done being a Plan B for her kids and for her to call CPS or an adoption agency if she wants to give up her 15 month old daughter or yet to be born son. She sent me 7 text messages by the time I made it to work at 8am. The first one started off with “but what am I supposed to do” and then by the 7th one she didn’t need me and everything was kittens and rainbows in her world. Apparently now her baby boy’s daddy is gonna support her and the baby once he’s born. Keep in mind, her first baby daddy is a drug dealer and her yet to be born baby daddy spends a lot of time in Mexico “working” even though he’s an American citizen…..little fishy.

I. Told. Her Off. I called her out on her delusions-her thinking that my hubs and FIL are baby killers, that baby boys are bad and mean that you’re bad if you birth one, that her unborn baby daddy was tracking her location via cell phone. I also basically told her that she’s an unfit mother due to her mental illness (paranoid schizophrenia), her chaotic lifestyle, her going back and forth about us adopting her children and her lack of support (because 95% of her family won’t deal with her). I also called her out by telling her that I was sure that she’d not told her CPS worker about her delusions. Of course she said that she had and that they weren’t delusions, she was confused. Since she allegedly has told her CPS worker about her delusions, I threatened to call CPS and talk to them myself. *I don’t have the worker’s name so it would take a lot of work for me to get someone to listen to me but she doesn’t know that.* Well that pissed her off. She told me that me that it’s none of my business (ummm, when you try to give your kids to me PERMANENTLY it becomes my business) and said that she’d sue me for slander if I made a false report to CPS. LMAO!!!!! The last thing that I said to her was that it wouldn’t be a false report if I called.

I cannot explain how much better I feel after telling her off. Am I still worried about her 15 month old and her unborn child? Hell yes, but right now I can’t do much. I am still considering a call to CPS but like I said, she never gave me the worker’s name and she’s never given me her physical address. I’ve tried Google but her name is a very common Hispanic name. I would ask my MIL (not married to FIL) but she is just as bat shit crazy as my SIL. I understand now why hubs and BIL want nothing to do with either of them.

IUI update-literally no symptoms/side effects other than a puffy tummy. Hubs infection is hurting now and he’s peeing all the time like he’s a pregnant woman :-p THe good thing is that our upcoming PCS to Colorado is giving me something else to obsess about 🙂

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10 Comments

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10 responses to “And I’m done

  1. Wow….I can’t even imagine dealing with drama like that. Good for you telling her off. I really hope everything turns out okay for her babies. 😦

    Have fun in Colorado!!! I grew up there. It’s a beautiful place!!!

  2. So what makes YOU so much better than her? You have made this post all about how wonderful you are and how screwed up she is. Don’t get me wrong, I am sure she is screwed up. But look at where your focus is! ME, I, ME, I, I, I, ME, ME.

    If your REALLY AND SINCERELY did care about the INNOCENT CHILDREN you would DO WHAT IS BEST FOR THE CHILDREN, PERIOD!!!!!!!!

    Get off your sanctamonious high horse and think solely what is the BEST thing for those children. If you are too imature (and it sure seems like it by this post) make sure CPS get’s those children in the system. If you are not ready to COMPLETELY AND UNSELFISHLY SACRFICE YOUR LIFE for those children get the heck out of the way!!!

    And yes I have EARNED the right to read you the riot act.

    IT’S NOT IN THE LEAST ABOUT YOU!!!!!

    • liberalgranolagirl

      LOL, your attitude is such a fine example of your Christianity. And i’m not sure how you earned the right to read me the riot act but whatever….you have a right to your opinion.

      I re-read my post and I don’t think that I ever said that I was better than her but am I more stable-hell yes. Since you asked here goes-I am not hopping around from guy to guy (aka dealer to dealer) and having sex with anything with a dick. I do not have a diagnosed SERIOUS mental disorder involving paranoid delusions for which I have been deemed disabled, receive a check for and for which I refuse to take medication. I do not REPEATEDLY contact family WHOM I’VE NEVER MET to take my daughter and unborn child (obviously I don’t have kids yet but you get the gist). I have not moved 6+ times in the past 17 months because I was unduly paranoid that the FBI/church/neighbor/baby’s daddy was trying to “get me.” I do not have delusions that baby boys are evil and I “don’t want to have anything ” to do with them-and yeah, the unborn baby is boy. I also don’t have an illegal substance abuse problem, a problem with habitually lying and I haven’t done time in prison for doing drugs/dealing drugs. I don’t think that the church tapes my conversations and reports back to the FBI and I don’t think that all people with dogs and children use their children as bait for the dogs.

      And FYI, fucking CPS is supposedly involved but since I live 1000 miles away and there’s a thing called HIPAA her state’s CPS can’t tell me shit. Oh yeah, and she won’t give me her physical address so no, I can’t even make a fucking report on her. Yeah, screwed up doesn’t even begin to describe her.

      Maybe you ought to get the whole story and not be so quick to be judgmental. Think to yourself, WWJD? Would he act like an ass to someone in their blog? Would HE climb up on HIS high horse without even bothering to know the whole story. My guess is no. So my friend, perhaps you should check yourself, take a look in the mirror.

      And fuck you, it IS about me when I am the one having to worry about these kids and their safety without being able to really do anything. I worked in foster care for 7 years, you think I don’t know what they are in for if she keeps custody? Of course I do but until I know a physical address or her worker’s name-which of course SHE won’t give me-there’s not much I can do. You think I don’t pray every night for the safety of my niece and my unborn nephew? You think that I don’t pray that my SIL gets the help she needs? I pray every night to a God that hears me and who I have faith will help me and them.

      • Yes you are the most imortant person in this whole story. You.

        Just curious… do you use that same “F” you mouth to pray to whatever god you pray to?

        As for WWJD – I prefer What Did Jesus Do. Simple. If ANYONE puts themself before the safety and welfare of a child it would be better that they had a milstone hung around their neck and cast into the sea.

        I suspect you spent just enough time on my blog to get an overview of my core values. If you look under the adoption category you may be able to see what sacrificing you life for a child might look like.

        Our family puts children first. Simple as that.

        Now since you say you have worked in foster care for seven years you should be more qualified to know what needs to be done to remove that/those chid(ren).. Documentation, documentation, documentation, hire a family law attorney. I mean if they really are important to you. But then, as you know, you would be held to a higher standard too.

      • liberalgranolagirl

        I never said that I was the most important Mr. Judgmental Christian. However this is my blog about my feelings and experiences so yes, in a big sense is IS about me.

        A family attorney…and who in the hell is going to pay for that because we sure cannot afford it. And don’t you dare act like I’m putting myself before these kids but really there is ZERO that I can do. I’ve tried calling CPS. I’ve tried to get SIL to give us guardianship of her daugter the first time she called me asking me to take her but after 6 weeks or so she said never mind and btw, I’m pregnant.

        So really, am I supposed to jump on a plane, fly 1000 miles to rescue a child when I don’t know even what city she lives in??? Or are my husband and I supposed to ruin our credit, forget paying our bills, forget paying for infertility treatments and pour all of our money into some attorney? Oh damn, there I go thinking about myself and my future with my husband again.

      • Judging behavior… we are supposed to do that. Judging souls is above my pay grade.

        You know the system, use it. Your sister is the one with the mental disorder. Don’t let her out smart you.

        Try to detach the emotion (difficult at best, I know) and look at it as someone working inside the system.

        Yes I know attorneies are expensie. We still can’t figure out how we are paying for ours. It sure doesn’t add up on paper but somehow each time we need $$$ it shows up. When we took our “new kids” in May ’06 we needed an immediate extra $800 a month for child care. Here we are 41 months down the road and the adoption is still not complete and we have never missed a payment on anything.

        God’s will done God’s way will never lack God’s provision.

        Perhaps you should consider if it would be best if you completely detach from your sister. The sooner her children get into the system the better chance they will have being placed with a permanent family.

        You know the drill. Figure out what is best., first of all for you, your husband and your child. THEN if you have anything left and your husband is in complete agreement rescue another child. But all this emotional strife is definately good for a pregnant woman and just as bad for your baby.

        You have just got to decide a plan and stick with it. Don’t be swayed by your emotions.

  3. Amaprincess

    Family can be soo frustrating! I pray that the best works out for the kids in the end….they are innocents in this mess!! I bet it felt good to tell her off…there are definitely a few in my family that I would love that pleasure…..HUGS!! Hang in there!

  4. brittanyib

    Becca, just from reading your posts, tweets, blogs, etc for the past few MONTHS, I can’t blame you for anything you have said or done. You are dealing with a mentally unstable person you have never met, who’s family seems to have given up on her and offer no help to her or her children. You are doing the best you can, but there is a limit to what one person can handle. If you worry yourself sick over these children or spend all of your money getting them away from their mother, you won’t be in any shape to take care of them when you do get them. Maybe I’m just a bad Christian too but I fully believe there is a point where you have to take care of yourself and your future. You said you have prayed, and you have done everything you know to do. Now it’s time to wait and let Him work, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    And anyone who can decide something as important as taking in a child without considering emotions is not someone I believe would make a good parent…emotions are something all of us have, especially kids, and they do need to be taken into consideration.

  5. hilbj

    I work in education and have dealt with CPS on many an occasion. Anyone can make a CPS report at anytime. You can even request that your identity not be disclosed to whom you are accusing. I live in California and those are the laws here. We have a saying in my field, when in doubt report. Trust me CPS will find your sil’s file. Even if they don’t think the information you are giving them is actionable, it will go in the file and create a paper trail. Perhaps at a later time, the cummulative amount of information will result in some action. Honestly, if you feel that due to her untreated mental illness she could present a danger to her child and unborn child, CPS is legally required to investigate. When you talk to the intake person do not ask for them to take specific action, but rather report the data and your concerns and request that they follow up with you. Good luck!

    • liberalgranolagirl

      Hilary, I do appreciate your concern and this case is actually in CA. They have been less than helpful in the several occasions that I have tried to have something done. According to my SIL, CPS is involved in her case (on-going, not foster care) yet they saw fit not to remove the child even though her mental illness causes delusions. I am a mandated reporter and I have spoken to a director who took down my concerns but obviously either didn’t didn’t pass them on to SIL’s worker or SIL’s worker doesn’t care what I have to say because no one has ever gotten back to me. In fact, the director reminded me that she could not give me any information due to HIPAA. I cannot make a report to the intake line because again, I do not have her physical address. My SIL has one of the most common first and last names in the Hispanic culture so trying to Google her or look her up through the white pages doesn’t work. If my MIL could keep a cell phone turned on maybe she could help me but my husband and I don’t even know how to contact her.

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