Yes, I am frustrated but for once it’s not about infertility. It’s about working out and getting in shape. I did 2 workouts today-Yoga Zone’s yoga for weight loss and P90X plyometrics (basically jumping for 45 min). I had to cut the yoga short-just did one 30 min workout instead of 2-and modify a lot of moves in plyo because of my body. My back starting burning about 15 min into yoga and rather than making it better (which it usually does) the yoga started making the burning worse. I finished the 30 minutes and then moved onto plyo. I had to modify a lot of moves in plyo because my strained-formerly torn (5 yrs ago)-leg muscle began aching again. At one point I felt a sharp pain in my shin, like it was tearing again. I have stretched, soaked in a hot bath and wrapped my leg with an Ace bandage. The compression of the wrap seems to make it feel better. It’s frustrating because I’m only 33 years old. I should be falling apart yet. I mean, I know that I have played hard and that at times I push myself but damn.

I’m also frustrated because while no one would ever call me fat (5’8″, 135 lbs) I have a tummy pooch. One of the many things i just love about PCOS, stubborn fat cells. After 4 weeks of doing P90X I can see a difference in my legs, arms and upper abs but those stubborn fat cells in my lower abs just won’t go away! Of course if I could follow the P90X diet it might help but trying to follow the fertility diet is more important to me right now. I also love to eat and my feeling is that life is too short to not enjoy my meals and wine. I’ve been doing better, though, and I’m just frustrated that the fat is not disappearing from my tummy. I think that it will eventually but I want it to go away NOW.

P’s ex wife is also frustrating me. I want to surprise P with a mini scrapbook of their son for CHristmas but she won’t send pictures to us. I messaged her on Myspace and FB last night but she never responded. NOw apparently she’s saying that I’m harassing her. Really? Because I want pictures of C to make a book for HIS FATHER? Yeah, she’s a piece of work.

So here I sit, drinking a beer with a wrapped leg and trying to figure out ways to convince my husband’s ex wife to email pictures of their son…..I’m open to suggestions.



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3 responses to “Frustrated

  1. OMG a woman of my own heart… Last year i stuck to the strickest of diets and droped from 30% body fat to 20% body fat and was 60kg… This year with all the fertility help, all i have gotten is fat… And like you every one tells me i should be happy, i am not fat, i am healthy blah blah blah… but my stubborn fat cells… my ass… it is the size of two giant watermelons, and no matter how many squats, no matter how many lunges, running, stretching etc etc i do… all i see is cellulite.. POOP! and to make matters worse i am currently on oestrogen, and google tells me that this hormone is the nice one that actually attracts fat cells.. YEY just what i need… fat cells staying arounf :o(

    As for you partners ex, i have found the only thing to work with the mother of DH child, is to just be super nice, and tell her ‘you understand’… not sure if that would work with the images though. Maybe let her sit on it for a few days and try again? All i know is when i am the stronger woman – she hates it, when i “play stupid” and she ‘thinks’ she is winning, we get our way in the end… If that makes sense?
    Good luck x x
    PS – You look great in that outfit.. Have you been working out 😉

  2. Ahh, delicious Halloween beer – sounds good!

    I bet even if you still have the tummy stuff your clothes are fitting differently. That’s usually my measure of success when I actually get off my fat ass to exercise.

    I never really believed that metabolism thing until I tried this summer to lose the 8lbs I had gained *after* my first IVF. I was eating 1400 cal a day and exercising some (not as much as you are) and NOTHING. Turns out my metobolic rate had decreased by 100 calories that year and my thyroid meds needed to be increased. After the increase I was able to lose 3 of the pounds pretty quickly.

    But the stomach fat – I think some of us are just stuck with it. Even when I was 125lbs (high school & 5′ 9.5″ – ok height doesn’t change) I still had tummy stuff.

    And the bitchy ex-wife – wow, wouldn’t even know how to deal with that. Did she get sole custody because of DH being in the military? Maybe he can revisit that concept. Sole custody doesn’t mean no visitation though – that is something he/you can look into. That just seems very unfair to him. Amazingly selfish and unfair.

    • hey – PCOS weight issues suck…I have no idea how to tame them – My closet is divided with store rack dividers size 0 to 14, no joke.
      As for the ex – I don’t know…maybe you could make the book with pages designated to memories he’s spoken about…and then over time he and you can find pictures to fill in the reset of the memories…

      ps- glad you like the award 🙂

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