Major decision to make….by Monday

I know I’ve not been around on here much but I’m now asking for help. P and I have a major decision to make by Monday. Long story short, we’ve been asked by CPS if we want to adopt SIL’s children. I told her that we would let her know on Monday. I know to some of y’all this seems like a no brainer but there are definite things we have to sort out-day care costs, some therapy for the 2 year old (she’s exhibiting some anger issues already), SIL and her instability (she’s currently harrassing the relatives that have the children, which is why they are giving them up), deployment (how will I do with 2 kids by myself) and our upcoming IVF (new post on that later but looks like it’s happening in September and NOT with CCRM).

My heart is screaming yes but I know that P needs to be on board 100% with this. Part of me wonders if it’s selfish to want to adopt the children when they would be placed in a pre-adoptive home….then I remember some of the pre-adoptive (and adoptive) homes that I worked with when I was in CPS….not saying all are bad-there are WONDERFUL foster to foster/adopt parents out there-but I saw several not good ones. Another part of me wonders if this is our chance to be parents. What if God/the universe is trying to tell us something? What if we don’t adopt now, then IVF/FET doesn’t work and we have to take a major loan for private adoption?

I’m going to therapy tonight….not sure if I’m going to tell her about this because there are so many other things that I need to discuss.

Please blogger friends, pray that we make the right decision. Offer input if you like but only if it’s constructive and out of caring-I simply cannot take negativity right now.

My Twitter friends are amazing and have been listening to me talk about this all day. I want to say a special thank you to 2 wonderful friends Holly and Lisa. Love both of you ❤



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15 responses to “Major decision to make….by Monday

  1. This is obviously a decision that you & P have to make on your own, but I hope that you two come to a solution that works best for you. It’s a HUGE undertaking, and such an important responsibility. I will keep you guys in my thoughts, and I hope that it works out exactly how you want it to.

    twitter: @myarmywifelife

  2. Such a hard decision… sorry, no sparkling advice for you, but I’ll be praying for you this weekend. This isn’t the sort of decision that there’s any one “right” answer for – you need to do what’s best for you & P, whatever you decide that might be. ((HUGS)) Good luck.

  3. Wifey

    It’s your decision. I would, mostly because they are family. And honestly, I know of several people who got pregnant naturally (even after trying fertility treatments!) after adopting. I guess the stress of wanting to be a parent so bad went away after adopting that it just… happened.

    Good luck and whatever decision you make will be the right one!

  4. It’s a huge decision, no doubt about it. Wishing you the best. Whatever you decide, we’ll be here to support you.


  5. This is my first time reading your blog and while, of course, it’s your decision to make I just wanted to wish you well. It is a huge undertaking, but also a huge blessing. I wish there were more easy decisions in life… Good luck!

  6. Just sending my love and support with whatever you and P decide. Know that I’m here!

  7. Jen

    Wow, huge decision. I can say with confidence that you will make the right decision for you and your hubby. The pros and cons of it are really only for you to understand with how they would fit in your life.

  8. Sorry I’ve missed so much on Twitter.

    I will be holding you both close to my heart as you make the decision, whatever it may be.

    *hugs* my dear friend.

  9. Nikke

    I’ll keep you in my prayers.
    It’s a huge decision for you and P.
    If you could work all the problems out and think you can do it, I say go for it.

  10. Sending my love, thoughts, prayers and wisdom to you at this time. Whatever you do, it will be right for you.

  11. Wow what a decision. I hope therapy goes well and you and P come to a decision that is good for both of you.

  12. liberalgranolagirl

    Thank you all so much. I wish it wasn’t complicated. I wish that my SIL wasn’t mentally ill and could care for her kids but she can’t. I wish that the whole family would understand that.

  13. Such a tough decision to make. I wll you what toish I could te do…but only you know what you are up against. Thoughts are with you and I’ll be checking to see what you both decide!

  14. I hope everything works out for the best for all of you!

    PS – I’ve been ‘tweeting’ with you for a while but somehow missed adding your blog to my feed. I’m here now!

  15. Wow. What a decision. Obviously no one knows the right answer except you (and even then you won’t know if you made the right decision until after the event).

    If I have a difficult decision to make always pretend I have made a decision and think about how that feels and then try it the other way round (does that make sense?). Usually one way will make me feel happy and the other grieve which points me in the right direction.

    Best of luck with whatever feels right.

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