Ever since I talked with SIL’s caseworker, I’ve been allowing to get myself excited about motherhood. I have been looking at furniture and bedding for kids’ rooms. I am looking around the house and thinking of what all needs to be baby proofed. I’m talking to the furbabies about having 2 toddlers in the house. I’ve been looking at pics of S and D millions of times a day, picturing them here with us and running around the house.
At this moment I am looking for crib bedding for each of them. I’ve already looked at outfits at BabyGap (in love with the American in Paris collections for boys and girls). I am so ready for motherhood. Like, for real. And not just the shopping and decorating parts of motherhood. I am ready for all of it.
It’s weird, I was having second thoughts and some minor freak outs about motherhood; but those all melted away once I saw their pictures. I mean, I’m still nervous but I’m not unsure any more. I know that we can handle it. I know that no matter what happens as far as parenting challenges, we can do it. I already love them. I already can’t wait to take them to BWW to meet my friends and introduce them to sports. I look forward to taking them to local parks and watching them experience their first snow.
If something happens and we don’t get them, my heart will break into a million pieces. I am ready for motherhood but I am not ready for my heart to be shattered.