Tag Archives: adoption

Mommy Mondays (a new idea for this blog)

I want to start Mommy Mondays on this blog, in an effort to blog regularly again and in an effort to reconnect with my blogging friends 🙂

Having recently become a Mommy via guardianship of the sis in law’s kids, I have a full appreciation of how difficult parenting is…especially when doing it alone (P won’t be back until the summer). I love the children and the bonding is going MUCH better but wow, there are definite challenges. On Mommy Mondays I want to focus on all things relating to parenting. I am thinking that I will obsess write about one parenting “thing” (sorry, I am too exhausted to think of a better word) per week on here. If there’s ever anything that you want to see me write about or that you just think would be a good topic, please comment on any post and let me know 🙂

I want to share a bit about the bonding/attaching that we’ve been working on here in our home. As y’all might remember things were rough here in the beginning. I am happy to report that things are MUCH better around here, I think due in a major way to my no longer being on the evil lu.pron. We have a night time routine now-15 to 30 minutes of cartoons while I make dinner; eat dinner; take baths; read a story and then bed time. That routine works 90% of the time, though sometimes SB (2.5 yr old niece) still has a meltdown when she gets in the bed. J (1 yr old nephew) rarely cries at bed time any more, unless he decides that he wants to stay up and play with the furbabies 🙂

SB is also seeking me out for hugs and sitting on my lap during Friday Night Family Movie and Pizza night. Her newest thing is to blow kisses to me or just come up to me for kisses ❤ She also runs to me when I pick her up from preschool saying “Mommy hug”….yeah, she’s a charmer 🙂 J’s face lights up when I come into his classroom and he immediately wants me to pick him up. He has also started having baby nightmares which is awful but he *does* calm down when I comfort him.

For the past couple of weekends, we haven’t really done anything fun because I have had IVF appointments, which for me are 2.5 hrs of driving round trip. This coming weekend I have decided that we will go shoe shopping for all 3 of us, walk around the mall a bit and then go see my friend, S, at BWW on her lunch shift 🙂 We are also going to go to church which is sure to be an adventure 😉

So what to you do to promote bonding/attachment in your children?

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And then there were 6

I had my egg retrieval this morning and the RE got 6 eggs. P’s swimmers looked great after thawing and the embryologist was optimistic. My friend, Brittany, took me for the ER and watched the kids….yeah, they had to come with us since we got some snow and the preschool had a late open of 8am. She took them to McD’s to play while I was there. From the time I got there until I was released was about 90 min. I do very well with the twilight anasthesia 🙂

So now we wait and pray that they fertilize and that we end up with a healthy baby. I cannot thank y’all enough for all of the support through out all of this….seriously, I could not do it without y’all.

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A short but sweet update

This week we have finally gotten into a routine & the kids are finally feeling better. SB, niece, is eating better and sleeping better. Bedtime is now a comfortable routine for all of us 🙂

We’re still working on the whole bonding/attaching part and I’m ok with that. I cannot explain how much y’alls support and acceptance means. I’m going easier on myself and realizing that things aren’t going to happen over night….and that it’s all okay 🙂

In other news, still doing injections in prep for IVF 1.0. I have another date with Wandy tomorrow & I’m hoping for a weekend egg retrieval. I’m praying that this works the first time, for lots of reasons.

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Im back, kind of

I’ve been super busy lately, but for good reason. Today, we got my SIL’s babies ❤ I picked them up & they are now in their forever home. We are officially parents!

Once I get this whole time management thing down, expect some posts on co sleeping, healthy toddler eating, gentle discipline & parenting a child with delays. I. Am. Super. Stoked.

Oh, and I start IVF meds on the 19th 🙂

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Allowing myself to get excited about motherhood

Ever since I talked with SIL’s caseworker, I’ve been allowing to get myself excited about motherhood. I have been looking at furniture and bedding for kids’ rooms. I am looking around the house and thinking of what all needs to be baby proofed. I’m talking to the furbabies about having 2 toddlers in the house. I’ve been looking at pics of S and D millions of times a day, picturing them here with us and running around the house.

At this moment I am looking for crib bedding for each of them. I’ve already looked at outfits at BabyGap (in love with the American in Paris collections for boys and girls). I am so ready for motherhood. Like, for real. And not just the shopping and decorating parts of motherhood. I am ready for all of it.

It’s weird, I was having second thoughts and some minor freak outs about motherhood; but those all melted away once I saw their pictures. I mean, I’m still nervous but I’m not unsure any more. I know that we can handle it. I know that no matter what happens as far as parenting challenges, we can do it. I already love them. I already can’t wait to take them to BWW to meet my friends and introduce them to sports. I look forward to taking them to local parks and watching them experience their first snow.

If something happens and we don’t get them, my heart will break into a million pieces. I am ready for motherhood but I am not ready for my heart to be shattered.

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Help, pretty please

Ok, friends in cyberspace I need some help. With any luck we will be getting SIL’s kids before the new year *happy dance* Although we are super pumped and excited, I have no idea what to get them (other than beds, carseats, food). Seriously, I am well versed in what to get in preparation for a newborn arrival but so clueless when it comes to what to get 2 toddlers.

So here’s the deal, I need help. I need for you to post comments as to what a 2.5 yr old girl and 1 yr old boy would need, other than necessities. I am looking for ideas as far as toys, books, etc. Also, any brand/type recommendations that you have as far as carseats and other necessities are welcome 🙂 And please, pass this on to friends who could help us.

Thank you so much cyberspace friends-I know that you’ll come through for us 🙂

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Why I would be a fugitive due to kidnapping

Here is the email that I got from SIL’s caseworker in NV. Keep in my mind that when the caseworker originally talked to me, she stated that the kids were going to be placed in a pre-adoptive home and CPS would be pursuing termination of parental rights.

Hi Rebecca,

[SIL, name removed]communicated she has been taking her medication daily for a month. However, I have not observed major significant behavior change. Except that [SIL] has stopped calling and leaving me numerous messages on a daily basis. That has subsided greatly. The medication may take some time to work. DFS will need progress letters from her psychologist and psychiatrist reporting she has demonstrated behavior change and is mentally capable/stable of caring for her children. I’ve requested medical records this week. Due to confidentiality, I will not be able share that with you. She appears to be doing better and has completed three parenting classes. Parenting is taken on a weekly basis or she would have already been done. She enrolled in additional parenting classes and expressed to the team that she is willing and open to learning to be a better a parent. She also mentioned that she lacked parenting skills and would like more help learning how to play and interact with her children. She continuous to make slow progress. She visits with the children at our visitation center twice a week and is consistent and appropriate. [S, 26 month old niece] was assessed by a therapist with Early child Hood Services and will begin receiving weekly therapy to address her speech, possible hearing impairment and development. Overall, [SIL] has been cooperative and compliant with our Department. She only needs to complete parenting classes and address her mental health. Her housing and income stability is not an issue. If she is able to address her mental health, which she is reportedly doing, the children will likely reunify with her. However, everything is a process and it is fairly still early in the case. We still have trial set for this 8-30 since she denied the Petition. Please tell me you and your husband are still a placement option?

I just love that she has the nerve to ask if we still want to be considered for placement *rolling my eyes*. We wanted to be considered as a PERMANENT placement for our niece and nephew-not another temporary placement until CPS decides to give them back to mentally ill, neglectful, unstable parent.

Apparently CPS there does not care that SIL has a pattern of this behavior-she only skipped out of CA to get CPS off her ass in that state. Sure, she went to the parenting classes ordered by CA’s CPS but she never truly believed that she needed them. I’ve told them of her pattern of erratic behavior over the past 2 years, including wanting to give the kids to us many times. Oh, and let’s not forget the death threats against family members and the continued paranoia that she voices to me….or that she wants to SKIP THE COUNTRY with these kids. Oh, and how exactly does a person who only receives a disability check get $3000 all of a sudden to hire a lawyer? I guess no one even bothered to question her about that one.

I think my favorite line of the email is “Her housing and income stability is not an issue.” Great to know that a woman who has not live in one single place for more than 4-5 months over the past 2 years is considered stable as far as housing. Back when I was a CPS worker in another state, a parent actually had to show that he/she was living in a stable environment for 6 months before getting their kids back. Good to know that packing up the kids and moving them every few months (because the people there are trying to steal your stuff/kill your kids/the FBI found you) to a new short term apartment, motel or sober house is ok.

I’m fucking fed up and I am incredibly sad for those kids. Does CPS actually think that SIL will keep up with all of S’s appointments related to her speech issue/possible hearing impairment? Do they honestly think that she will continue to take medication and see a mental health person after she gets those kids back? Hell no she won’t, she’ll skip town just like she did in CA. And before anyone asks why we arent pursuing custody on our own, I looked into that and unfortunately it seems that you have ot be a resident of NV to do that in NV.

So, please all of my blogger friends/Twitter friends/new friends/IRL friends pray to whatever God/deity that you believe in that these kids are safe and stable. If you don’t pray, then please send some healing vibes to them. They will need all the help that they can get.

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