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Freaking out….

Our first appt with our RE is on the 21st of this month and I am starting to freak out. Like panic attack, crying, not being able to breath freaking out. This is it, we’re in this for real. We’ve been TTC for over 2 yrs, no luck with meds and sex so now this. Seriously freaking out. Just want to get preggo and not go completely insane or financially broke in the process.

I had another meltdown yesterday and feel one coming on thoday at work. It’s not just the IF it’s that I hate this town, I’ll be driving over an hour to my RE appts, money sucks and our dear friends left for San Francisco last week (so incredibly happy fpr them but miss them *cries*). I know that we will PCS hopefully by February and that’s great but if I don’t get preggo by then , then we have ot start all over in another town with another dr. I swear, I don’t think that I can handle that plus if we go where we want to go hubby will be deploying before the end of 2010….so if we don’t get preggo by the time he leaves, then there’s another year of not being pregnant.

I am trying to be realistic about IUI and the fact that we will probably not get preggo the first time but then again, I want to be optimistic about it. That’s such a fine line to balance, though b/c I’ve tried doing it before when I was on Clomid and then again when I was on Femara. I have to get myself together, though because this rollercoaster of emotions is not godd for me or for the relationship with hubby.

Ok, enough blogging about this-I’m gonna break down. Off to call medical records and see about getting records sent to the RE.



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