Tag Archives: failed iui

The reason I wanted to punch someone

Last night on a message board (not related to infertility) I posted this link to the story about the couple who got the wrong embryos from the fertility clinic. It is an awful situation and it broke my heart for both sets of parent. The following was the ONLY stupid response but of course I saw it after my RE appointment today-I was already dealing with the immature follicle thing. Anyway, here’s the stupid part of the response:

May get flamed for this… I really believe in everything happens for a reason. it was not meant to be for them to have another child, even thou they want this so badly.

Really? Seriously? WTF? So I guess that in her view (of course she has 2 children and as far as I know has no history of infertility) I guess those of us who cannot naturally get preg, miscarry or who have failed infertility treatments are not meant to have children. And I guess there’s “a reason” that those crack addicted women I worked with (I was their social worker) could have children with basically no effort; and a reason that one of my foster cases was abused in 2 different foster homes; and a reason why because everything happens for a reason, right?

Fuck that. Everything doesn’t happen for a reason. That phrase may offer comfort to some but not to me nor to many people I know. If everything happens for a reason and that reason is God (which is usually what those people believe) then they believe in truly messed up, sadistic god that I don’t believe exists.

So keep your “everything happens for a reason” crap to yourself if you believe it, especially when it’s related to infertility. We, for the most part, don’t want to hear it.

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POAS this morning….

and it was a BFN. I had literally 6 different dreams last night that I got a BFP. I feel like curling up in a ball and crying all day. I haven’t told hubs yet, didn’t want to wake him up with the bad news. So for now I am drowning my sorrows in a regular Coke, watching Food Network (love Nigella Feasts), watching my dogs play and listening to the rain.

To say I’m crushed is an understatement. I knew the chances of getting pregnant with the first IUI were not huge but I had so hoped. As of today we’ve been trying for 950 days and each month that we don’t get pregnant still hurts. I know that we’ll keep going because we both want children that are biologically ours if possible, but days like this I want to say “fuck it” and just give up. I want scream, rage and throw things but that would scare my dogs. Instead I will sit here and cry while I listen to the rain.

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