Tag Archives: guardianship

Mommy Mondays (a new idea for this blog)

I want to start Mommy Mondays on this blog, in an effort to blog regularly again and in an effort to reconnect with my blogging friends 🙂

Having recently become a Mommy via guardianship of the sis in law’s kids, I have a full appreciation of how difficult parenting is…especially when doing it alone (P won’t be back until the summer). I love the children and the bonding is going MUCH better but wow, there are definite challenges. On Mommy Mondays I want to focus on all things relating to parenting. I am thinking that I will obsess write about one parenting “thing” (sorry, I am too exhausted to think of a better word) per week on here. If there’s ever anything that you want to see me write about or that you just think would be a good topic, please comment on any post and let me know 🙂

I want to share a bit about the bonding/attaching that we’ve been working on here in our home. As y’all might remember things were rough here in the beginning. I am happy to report that things are MUCH better around here, I think due in a major way to my no longer being on the evil lu.pron. We have a night time routine now-15 to 30 minutes of cartoons while I make dinner; eat dinner; take baths; read a story and then bed time. That routine works 90% of the time, though sometimes SB (2.5 yr old niece) still has a meltdown when she gets in the bed. J (1 yr old nephew) rarely cries at bed time any more, unless he decides that he wants to stay up and play with the furbabies 🙂

SB is also seeking me out for hugs and sitting on my lap during Friday Night Family Movie and Pizza night. Her newest thing is to blow kisses to me or just come up to me for kisses ❤ She also runs to me when I pick her up from preschool saying “Mommy hug”….yeah, she’s a charmer 🙂 J’s face lights up when I come into his classroom and he immediately wants me to pick him up. He has also started having baby nightmares which is awful but he *does* calm down when I comfort him.

For the past couple of weekends, we haven’t really done anything fun because I have had IVF appointments, which for me are 2.5 hrs of driving round trip. This coming weekend I have decided that we will go shoe shopping for all 3 of us, walk around the mall a bit and then go see my friend, S, at BWW on her lunch shift 🙂 We are also going to go to church which is sure to be an adventure 😉

So what to you do to promote bonding/attachment in your children?

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And then there were 6

I had my egg retrieval this morning and the RE got 6 eggs. P’s swimmers looked great after thawing and the embryologist was optimistic. My friend, Brittany, took me for the ER and watched the kids….yeah, they had to come with us since we got some snow and the preschool had a late open of 8am. She took them to McD’s to play while I was there. From the time I got there until I was released was about 90 min. I do very well with the twilight anasthesia 🙂

So now we wait and pray that they fertilize and that we end up with a healthy baby. I cannot thank y’all enough for all of the support through out all of this….seriously, I could not do it without y’all.

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Say what?!?!?!?! x 2

Ok, so she’s open to an open family adoption….supposedly. She and I texted for HOURS the other night. I really don’t like the idea of her coming here especially without having paperwork done first. She’s currently living in a sober living home (and no, people who live in sober homes aren’t necessarily sober)-she’s moved like 5 times in 5 months-but she said that she’s only paid up through May 2nd, then she has to move. I asked where she was going to live after that and she said with her mom, then her aunt and then she was coming here to LA. I asked where she was going to live after leaving here and she said that she “guessed” back in the sober living home. You guess???? *blink, blink* How do you not know where you’re going to live??

I am not comfortable with her being here for any length of time. Yes, I realize that she is potentially giving us her child but she is a recovering addict with mental health issues and quite frankly I don’t need the additional stress right now. I planned to get all the forms off the internet and mail them to her along with instructions and a letter but she won’t tell me where she lives and says she doesn’t have a mailing address. I have also found out that the necessary adoption forms can actually be found at the public library, then we can complete them and file them with the court. I am also going to somehow nicely insist that I fly out there to pick up Starr. I just do NOT want to be in the position of kicking her out of our home because she wont leave. I also do NOT want to be used just because her ass doesn’t have a place to live.

Later that evening she texted me about how she wants S to get married young, like 16 yrs and to an Army man. *WTF?* Her reasoning is that she doens’t want to be an old grandma. This is what I have to deal with on an almost daily basis and is one of the reasons that I want to fly my ass to CA right now. For the love of God, people like her are fertile and others of us have issues.

I have texted her today and she has not texted back. I called my local CPS office and confirmed that yes, we need actual guardianship papers from CA. I also emailed CPS in CA and told them details about the situation and asked how long it would take to get guardianship. I also asked about intiating guardianship even though we live in LA. Someone other than R needs to raise this baby.

On the infertility front, I received a call back from my doctor’s head nurse. I have a refill left on my Metformin so that should be a problem for me to get and she is going to do her best to get me an order for the Femara. Now for the interesting part-remember how I said that the dr was doing a referral for a consult to Womack? Well apparently he didn’t, he did a referral to a specialist in Lafayette, LA. Whatever, TriCare never got that referral so the nurse is going to ask him to do a referral to Wilford Hall. What’s funny is I specifically remember the dr and I talking about doing a local referral and him saying that it would probably cost me $1000 for IUI here so why not just go ahead, get the referral for IVF at Womack and put that $1000 towards that-makes perfect sense. So yeah, I am thoroughly confused now but hopefully I will have a referral to Wilford Hall by the end of the week and then I can get on the waiting list for a consult. Ain’t infertility grand?

Her: I want her to have a nice life like my mom.

Me: What was her life like?

Her: She had 3 kids, was always married and her husbands took care of her.

Me: I would hope that she’d only get married once and that she would be able to take care of herself, not necessarily depend on a man.

She is seriously f’ing nuts. Her mother was not monogamous in ANY of her marriages, she was/is on drugs, has a gambling problem, was homeless a few months ago and her sons-P and Calvin-can’t stand her. Also, Rosa wass sexually abused by one of moms boyfriends.

If she backs out of this, I will be calling CPS as soon as I can find out what sober home she’s living in. She doesn’t need to be responsible for a child at this point in her life.

ETA: I am tempted to let her just do the damn notarized letter that she wants to do, me fly out to get Starr and then go to CPS here and file for custody. I plan to call my local CPS tomorrow and see what my options are. Straight up, her crazy ass is not coming here.

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complicated….

After much research yesterday, here is what I have found out about getting baby S. First, R has to pick up and complete the paperwork in the “guardianship package.” Then the paperwork gets submitted, there is a court date and the judge approves (hopefully) the guardianship. The judge then has to approve us moving the child out of state. Provided the judge approves moving S out of state (doubt he/she would care since the mother of the child is cool with it) we then have to get guardianship in our state. Why is everything so complicated?? She says she can’t care for the child and we CAN care for the child, so let us take care of S. I realize that all of this red tape is to protect S but it’s just frustrating.

Today I am hungover b/c I drank too much wine with Amy last night. yeah, I realize I broke my goal of not drinking alcohol while P is gone but it’s Leesville, there’s nothing to do and I was/am frustrated about this whole guardianship thing. I doubt that I will be drinking tonight, though. Hangovers suck.

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