Tag Archives: IUI

I’m done

I’m done with OPKs this month. I foud myself worried about getting a + one and worried about having sex at the right time. I wanna enjoy this pre-deployment time, not stress about ovulation and sex.

Having said that, I’m still charting BBT and symptoms. For some reason I find that way less stressful than OPKs.

Now I’m off to enjoy a Bloody Mary with my wonderful husband 🙂

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37 cycles and counting

BFN today. Looks like we’re headed toward IVF in the next few months.

I’m terrified and not holding up very well today. FIL is here so I’m holed up in our room crying. Really hungry & want breakfast but don’t wanna walk downstairs with a tear stained face.

Fertility challenges suck.

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And I’m Zen Again

For whatever reason, I am totally back to being zen-like again. The move no longer freaks me out and neither does the IUI coming up. I have no idea why….maybe it’s because P is now in freak out mode right now. In fact, the only thing I am remotely stressing about right now is my weight, which I cna’t do anything about right now. Damn you fertility drugs for making 12-15 lbs heavier.

As I was thinking today, I realized that many of my readers might not know what it’s like to do a military move. Before I married P, I always just moved myself (well, except for the move from AL to GA-I hired movers) so 2 yrs ago was my first military move. I learned from it and now feel more prepared for this upcoming move. Without further babbling I will give y’all a little breakdown of an Army move.

There are 3 possible types of moves: DITY (do it yourself) move, partial DITY and full Army move. With the full Army move, the Army arranges for a company to pack up 100% of your belongings one day and then arranges for movers to pick up the packed belongings a day or so later. You do nothing but watch them pack, load your things and then unload them at your new place in your new city.

With a DITY move, you pack, load and unload yourself (or pay someone else to do it). There is some reimbursement that happens based on the pounds packed and the miles driven but I don’t know the details because I refuse to do it this way. I am not a fan of packing. I hate it. Seriously.

We are doing a partial DITY move to Colorado. We will be renting a U-Haul trailer (not a reimbursable cost) and loading some of our stuff (mattress, furbaby supplies, a TV, X-Boxes, some clothes, things that the Army packers/movers won’t pack) into it. We will get paid a certain amount per pound so we will have to weigh the trailer empty and full and save the receipts. We also keep track of the miles driven so that we can get reimbursed for that too. I believe that we also get a per diem for the days that we are on the road to pay for our meals but I can’t remember for sure. You turn in all the receipts at your new military post and then get paid within a couple of weeks (as long as they don’t lose your paperwork a million times).

With any of theses moves you get paid a Dislocation Allowance, DLA. The DLA is to help you pay for a deposit, rent, closing costs, etc. You get 80% up front and then 20% when you get to your new military post.

In addition to all this, when we get to the new Army post we’ll need to check in with various offices on post, including insurance, to be sure that they have our new address and contact numbers.

Some people complain about moving frequently when you are in the military but I really don’t stress about it. Other than the small amount of stuff that we take ourselves, we don’t have to pack anything. I also plan to let the movers unpack most of the boxes at our new home because that is something else that I just don’t like doing.

In other moving news, I am 95% sure that I will have a full time job when I get there 🙂 I am trying to transfer with my employer and until this week my only option was to transfer there to an “on call” position. Well, last week I got a heads up that a full time position was opening yesterday. I submitted my resume and will be interviewing (over the phone) with the office next week. I am (and have been) praying so hard to get this job. I would be doing the same thing that I am doing now-working with soldiers-and I love it.

I’m also 95% sure that we will have a house to rent when we get there. Through a friend I had found a home that a couple had just moved out of. I looked at the pictures online and it’s perfect for us AND has a huge backyard. Originally the rental company told us that May was the available date but they emailed me back today and told me that we could move into the house in early April. I have completed the rental application and will be faxing it to them as soon as P can sign it. Again, this has been something that I have been praying for every night. It will be such a relief if we can move straight into a home without having to live in a hotel for a week or more. Plus, our dogs will LOVE having a huge backyard to play in 🙂

Tonight will be night 4 of the 150 iu Follistim injections. This month I have been having some AF like spotting since Saturday. No cramping or anything but I’m not liking it. I’m going to it mention it to the RE on Thursday when I go in for my date with Wandy. I haven’t really been giving much thought to this IUI, probably because of all of the other stuff that we have going on. I like not thinking about it. I’ve still been listening to Circle+Bloom each night and having a daily cup of pregnancy tea but other than that I haven’t been dwelling on it. When I do think about it I am trying my best to only think positive BFP thoughts 🙂

I like being zen-like again. It’s so much better for me than being stressed, sad and angry. I just feel better all around when I’m calm.

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Back in the stirrups again

I want to thank all of you for the wonderful, supportive and loving replies to yesterday’s blog. Y’all truly made me feel better and not as hopeless. I ❤ all of you.

Went in to see the RE today so that we can get IUI #5 started. The ultrasound technician reported that I was cyst free and my uterus looked great 🙂 The RE, Dr. S, increased my Follistim from 100iu nightly for 5 nights to 150iu nightly for 5 nights. Hopefully it works!

Normally Dr. S doesn't talk to me on my CD3 appointment but this time the nurse said that he wanted to meet with me. He talked to me about how he hates that P will be deployed and how it's upsetting for him to think about P being deployed even though he only knows him from the clinic. He told me that he and the clinic would do whatever we need in order to find an RE in CO if #5 isn't successful. It meant a lot to me not only what he said but how he said. He and the staff are amazing and truly care about their patients. I have never once felt rushed and like an inconvenience when I call, ask questions, etc. I am going to miss them terribly.

So here's to IUI #5 working. We are gonna be knocked up this time. The positive thinking is back!

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Wordful Wednesday

Emo

This pretty much describes how I am feeling lately.

We got a BFN on the 12th and the 15th and AF came yesterday. This time I am not handling it well. Broke down at the first BFN and proceeded to get drunk that night. Saw 2 pregnancy announcements today (not any of my fertility challenged friends) and proceeded to get all teary eyed at work. This is taking a toll on me. I never thought that it would take this long to get pregnant. I never thought that I’d be looking at IUI #5. Speaking of that, my CD3 RE appointment is tomorrow. When I spoke to the nurse she stated that the doctor might decide to forego the Femara and just do injectibles this month. I am assuming that he wants me to produce more good follicles in the hope that one of them fertilizes. While the thought of more follicles makes me somewhat nervous, at this point I am willing to try it.

It’s difficult to explain the disappointment this time. I really felt so strongly that #4 would be it for us and we would finally have those 2 pink lines. It was like being thrown into a black hole and I haven’t completely fought my out yet. I still feel profound sadness about it this time. I am not all excited about trying again. I’m not even excited about getting Starbucks tomorrow after my appointment. I just feel numb about this upcoming IUI. I hope that changes. I will make sure that changes.

If #5 doesn’t work, I plan to take a break from the fertility drugs. I can’t do it anymore, at least not now. The medications make me too moody, tired and fat. I hate not feeling like myself. I am still listening to Circle+Bloom each night before sleep which is probably the only reason I am sleeping all right.

So tonight I am drowning my sorrow in Shiraz and cookies ‘n cream ice cream. Wish I was in Savannah drinking green beer *sigh*

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I feel like Alice

You know when Alice eats the cake to make her grow in Alice and Wonderland, that’s how I feel. I swear that my tatas and belly grow more everyday. This Prometrium is really doing a job on me. My brain is foggy and I can’t seem to keep a stream of thoughts going long enough to………what was I saying? Anyway, at first I was sleeping basically all the time when I wasn’t working; then for the past few days I couldn’t sleep more than a few hours at a time. Now I am exhausted after only being up since 10am and I am hungry-truly hungry, not craving-every couple of hours. I’m pretty sure that my ass has grown too. I am fighting the urge to start running a million miles a day and instead reminding myself that hopefully this is all for a very good cause.

I cannot believe that I am already halfway through the 2ww. This first week has literally flown by. I am sure that is mostly due to work being somewhat busy and my being way more concerned about finding a home and a job in Colorado. The thought of having and raising (at least for a year or so) a baby in Colorado also pops into my head and makes me smile. So far I have been doing very well at not continually obsessing or really even noticing if I have “symptoms.” The only thing I’ve noticed, other than the weight gain (seriously folks, I can’t fit into over half my clothes and can definitely not fit into any of my jeans) is slight cramping yesterday and today. We have 5 more days, then I can POAS. And this time I promise that i will not test early this month. For real. For serious. I won’t. I swear.

For now I will continue to hope that I will not grow too much more. If I do I will have to go to work in a robe and I’m not sure that they would go for that.

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I’m not even obsessing about tomorrow’s IUI

And ya want to know why I’m not obsessing? Because the reality of moving in 4 weeks has finally hit me. I have had minor almost freakouts about it earlier but like Scarlett I though “I can’t think about this today. I’ll think about this tomorrow.” Well today was apparently tomorrow. I started doing a budget for the next couple of months and it hit me “I don’t know where we’ll be living, what our rent/mortgage will be and if I will have a job!” Of course I would prefer that we have a mortgage but since I still don’t have a job there (well, I do but I don’t-will explain that in a bit), I doubt that we can qualify on P’s income alone. He has the next few days off work so I plan to have him look into that, among doing other things. Yep, I will definitely be giving him a “honey do” list and I will be making a list for myself. In fact, dear readers, let me just make that list right here so that you can join in my freaking out.

Need to do in the next 4 weeks before we are homeless:
1. Clean out the downstairs closet and outside storage. *Scheduled to do this weekend, March 13-14*
2. Take stuff from #1 to on post thrift store. *Scheduled to do this weekend, March 13-14* Changed-doing this on Wednesday, March 24th
3. Make a list of things for the movers not to pack. *Work in progress*
4. Pack enough clothes for 10 days (for those who aren’t familiar with military moving, you might not get your stuff quickly once you relocate).
5. Reserve a moving trailer.
6. Sod the backyard since the demon dogs have made it into a dirt pit. *Doing this the day before we leave.*
7. Clean out potted plants and lay down more rocks since demon dogs have messed up the rocks. *Doing this next weekend, March 20-21, as long as it doesn’t rain*
8. Get Dyson repaired. *Dropping off March 13* Changed-decided to do this in Colorado because if we did it here, it would have ot be shipped to TX and back.
9. Clean out little Bissell Green Machine.
10. Clean couch with Bissell. *decided to do this after the move in case it gets dirty during the move*
11. Clean carpets. *Doing this after HHG (household goods) are picked up on the 25th*
12. Repair interior damage caused by demon dogs (window sill, door frame and wall where Bear tried to chew through it). *Work in progress* All that’s left to do is paint =)
13. Take Ranger to vet for yearly shots.
14. File federal and LA taxes (this is SUPER important).
15. Give 30 day notice to current rental company (this should probably be #1).
16. Forward mail to someone since we have no Colorado address yet. *Hoping to have an address by the end of this week, March 13*
17. Bathe all demon dogs.
18. Find out how much Dramamine to give demon dogs (car sick dogs are no fun). 2mg per pound
19. Find a place to live in Colorado, or at least a place to live for a month while we figure it out. *Work in progress*
20. Find a full time job (I have an on-call job waiting for me there but we really need for me to have a solid second income). *Work in progress*
21. Clean out my office at work =( *Starting this on Monday, the 15th*
22. GET KNOCKED UP!

I’m sure that there is more to do but I am feeling feverish so I am wrapping this up. P has a list, too but his is work based and involves everything that he needs to do in order to clear post. To his list I am adding “talk to realtor”, “talk to mortgage guy” and “look online for places to live”.

Shit, I just remembered one for me-reserve a dog friendly hotel room for the trip. *Will reserve a room at a La Quinta as soon as we nail down a date to move.*

ETA: More things to do before we move:
23. Call power company to discontinue service. Will be put back in the owner’s name on the 31st.
24. Call cable/internet provider to discontinue service. Will be disconnected on the 31st.

May the force be with us during this move.

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